


Taken (but not Given)

by TheChichiSlaughterHouse



Category: Given (Anime), Given (Manga)
Genre: Angst, Blow Jobs, M/M, Manga Spoilers (but out of context), Mildly Dubious Consent, Tongue Piercing, Unresolved Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:35:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23299417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheChichiSlaughterHouse/pseuds/TheChichiSlaughterHouse
Summary: AU(ish): Haruki makes a rash decision after finding out about Akihiko's situation and is found before he can come up with an excuse. AkihikoxHaruki(Written somewhat around the end of episode 5 airing, based on a few spoilers people told me.)
Relationships: Kaji Akihiko/Nakayama Haruki
Comments: 4
Kudos: 87





	Taken (but not Given)

**Author's Note:**

> Taken (But Not Given)
> 
> By The Chichi Slaughter House
> 
> Warnings: AkiHaru, blowjob, some manga spoilers (but out of context), possessive/jealous Akihiko, angsty, sorta dub-con I guess?
> 
> Disclaimer: Given belongs to Natsuki Kizu.
> 
> Rating: NC-17
> 
> Okay, so this one requires a bit of explanation. I started writing this in August after episode 5 of the anime had aired in a lust-fuelled trance after learning a detail from [Akihiko’s character page](https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/slaughterchichi/6196347/13374/13374_900.jpg). I’d been spoiled on twitter by accident about Haruki’s hair around episode 3 and so ended up writing part of this to kind of ‘fill in the gaps’ for myself. I know I could have just read the manga, but I’d wanted to see the anime first, give myself something to look forward to when it was over.
> 
> I let this sit for a long time due to a lot of silly reasons (including not wanting to be ‘wrong’, since I have an obsession with being canon-complaint as much as possible) and only got around to finishing it recently. I’ve read the manga since so some of that may have gotten mixed in further, which is why I’m posting this under Given (manga) instead of Given (anime) – I don’t wanna accidentally spoil anyone even if the spoilers themselves are in the wrong context. Please forgive the inaccuracies of this; the concept doesn’t work without them.
> 
> Anyway hi! I love AkiHaru and am very excited about the film coming up. Planning on posting some more stuff for these two but wanted to get this one outta the way first! A friend helped me come up with the title; it’s stupid on purpose, don’t worry about it.
> 
> [Translated into Russian by Luficers_Owl](https://ficbook.net/readfic/9350021/23965077)!
> 
> [Twitter](http://twitter.com/slaughterchichi) | [Tumblr](http://slaughterchichi.tumblr.com) | [Pillowfort](https://www.pillowfort.social/slaughterchichi) | [Curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/slaughterchichi)

Nakayama Haruki was a little tense as he walked back to his flat, a grocery bag clutched in one of his hands. His head feeling lighter than it had in years, the slight wind from outside causing his now-short hair to tickle his cheek and make him shiver. It had been a warm day when he’d gone out so he hadn’t been anticipating this cold breeze and had neglected to take a jacket, not seeing the need for it at the time but all-too aware of it now. The back of his neck felt particularly breezy, no longer warmed nor protected by the length of his hair. He’d forgotten just how much of a difference that would make; too accustomed to it to fully remember what this would feel like. A jacket was going to be necessary until he adjusted to this, at least until the summer got into full swing. Going out without one had been an error.

A mistake he wouldn’t make again, relief washing through him as he spotted his home. He made a mental note to take a coat or scarf in future as he hurried towards the building, looking forward to getting back inside and warming up. Wondering if the ingredients he had bought would be suitable for hot pot, though also cautious that might heat him up too much – something to decide after he got in and had a better handle of the situation.

As Haruki climbed the stairs, he had the feeling he’d forgotten something. Band practise wasn’t for a few hours yet, which gave him time to have a shower and make some food before he headed out. Time to think through what he was going to say if he was asked about his hair, find the right kind of deflection that wouldn’t invite more questions.

Mafuyu and Uenoyama would be easy enough; they’d believe whatever he said unquestioningly. The issue was Akihiko and his seeming obsession with it. Their drummer was more likely to be sceptical or overtly heartbroken by the change, Haruki anticipating all sorts of questions and complaints from him that would be hard to shrug off.

As if it wasn’t partly his fault in the first place—

Haruki stopped in his tracks as he reached his door, a familiar man waiting outside of it. Shit!

His gaze fell on the drummer’s back as he stood staring at his door in what seemed to be annoyance. He’d completely forgotten their plan to meet up early and have food before heading to the studio; the promise vanishing from his mind under the shock of what he’d learned earlier. Lost in his tirade of emotions that had prompted him to go out and make this drastic change. Unable to simply keep going as he was; needing to do something so he could try to stop feeling so ridiculous and let go.

A noise must have escaped him at the sight, Akihiko turning his head to look at him.

“Oi, Haruki, where’ve you bee—”

Akihiko froze in the middle of his sentence, his green-edged eyes widening as he took in Haruki’s appearance. His bag slipping off his shoulder from his surprise and falling to the floor with a loud thud; the sound echoing through the staircase and almost making Haruki shudder. Not from the cold this time, since the wind couldn’t reach the staircase.

Overly aware of what he might look like now, Haruki faltered and looked off to the side, trying to come up with something to say. Anything that didn’t reveal the reason he’d done this, though why he was late was now apparent.

The tone of Akihiko’s voice had changed when he spoke next, grabbing onto Haruki’s arm as he yanked him closer, anger coating his words and evident on his face. Eyebrows knit together, his teeth flashing white from under his lips.

“Your hair! Why’d you—”

The older man winced at the sound of his voice, at the tight grip on his arm. The rest of Akihiko’s words not registering whatsoever in his mild panic. Immediately wondering if he was going to bruise from the force that Akihiko was using, stumbling over his words and not really getting any out.

“Ah— Um, you see—”

It wasn’t like he could tell him the truth. Not after what he’d learned, what he’d decided to do for himself in the face of that knowledge. If it was that simple, he could have just said it a long time ago; expressed his feelings instead of keeping them to himself. Pining away in silence like an idiot, hopeful for something he wasn’t going to get. Part of him was angry that Akihiko had never brought it up – it would have saved him a lot of stress, even if wouldn’t have changed how he felt.

The reason for the sudden haircut was simple: Haruki had found out about Akihiko’s live-in lover.

Not that he hadn’t known Akihiko would have someone; the younger man was popular despite his scary face, often got into fights with other men over sleeping with their girlfriends. But that was the thing: he never seemed to have his own partner, someone he was dedicated to and in love with. Foolishly, Haruki had just assumed such a person didn’t exist, had kept his feelings to himself to maintain their friendship. Not thinking Akihiko would even remotely be interested in men, let alone have one as his partner.

In a lot of ways it didn’t even make any sense; if Akihiko had someone, why was he getting into all this trouble? How was he managing to sleep around in that kind of situation? Was it an on-again-off-again kind of thing? Did that even matter?

Either way it had been a huge shock and a slap in the face when he’d found out, feeling ridiculous and stupid for ever hoping something would happen between them. Hurt by how Akihiko casually flirted with him, thinking up to this point that it was accidental because he wasn’t into guys. He felt as though he’d been played like Akihiko’s violin; the other man’s actions stroking on his heartstrings, stuck in the rhythmic melody that the other man had chosen as if he had no free will of his own.

It was like he’d been toyed with, used to amuse Akihiko more than anything else. That’s why he’d gone to cut his hair; free himself of the weight of his feelings for Akihiko before things got even more out of control. Remove the shackle that had grown from that, help him to be able to move past it.

He hadn’t been expecting to run into him here, hadn’t predicted the fire in his eyes at the sight of his hair short like it had used to be. Had thought he’d have a few hours to steel himself, company so that Akihiko would have to maintain at least a semblance of calm over the whole thing. Haruki still wasn’t sure how to answer him, fiddling with the ends of his hair from nerves.

“I… felt like a change?” It sounded like a lie even to himself, Akihiko’s hands gripping him even tighter. Not believing him in the slightest.

The next thing Haruki knew, he was being pulled over to the wall; his back slamming against it as Akihiko got so close that he felt like he couldn’t breathe. That angry expression not changing even as Akihiko grasped the back of his head and aggressively pressed their lips together.

Haruki’s eyes widened in shock, the bag of groceries he’d been carrying meeting the same fate as Akihiko’s bag. Falling to the floor and spilling its contents over it, probably bruising the vegetables he’d been planning to cook for dinner. He didn’t have time to think about that though; far too distracted by the younger man pinning him against the wall. Gasping when he felt Akihiko’s hand on the front of his trousers, a part of him still able to think clearly enough to panic about what would happen if someone else came this way.

Unable to yell because of Akihiko’s lips on his own, because he was scared that if he did someone would hear and see what was happening. Haruki had lived here a while but didn’t really know anyone else, just nodding at and saying hello to his neighbours whenever they crossed paths. He didn’t know what kind of people they were, didn’t want to bring any sort of judgement on himself if they found him like this.

The metal of Akihiko’s lip piercing had been cold against his mouth when he’d been kissed, heating up on his skin as their lips had pressed together. Haruki was surprised by the lack of tongue, by the almost-chaste nature of it despite the younger man groping at his crotch at the same time. Haruki knew his cock was getting hard, was trying to think of a way to stop it but with everything Akihiko pressed that close to him, there was no way he could prevent it.

Akihiko’s tongue finally pushed against him, Haruki stiffening up further as he tried to turn his head away. He kept his mouth shut tight, biting into his bottom lip to stop himself from letting this go further or making a noise someone would hear.

His mind was whirlwinding out of control; confused by the advance yet still somehow desperate for it. Haruki had wanted this so long, had hoped and dreamed of it for years now; never expecting it to go anywhere, never anticipating Akihiko would act first. He felt like he was dreaming, like this wasn’t real. He didn’t want it to be a dream – he’d had enough of those, enough of waking up to disappointment and frustration rushing through his body when he realised the truth – but it felt too impossible, too perfect to be anything else.

Haruki knew he should push Akihiko away. Akihiko had someone else, didn’t he? And even if they were split up, would split up because of this, he knew he was going to feel guilty. Drive himself insane from the feeling inside him, of how horrible he was for letting it happen when he knew better, should have resisted. But he couldn’t.

Akihiko pulled back from his lips, not seeming angry with him anymore. The green gaze was calm if lustful, piercing through him like it always did. There was no shame on his face even though he was doing something wrong, causing Haruki to shake. Did his boyfriend mean nothing to Akihiko or was it him that didn’t matter, didn’t count? He hadn’t been told anything, couldn’t bring himself to ask.

Akihiko dropped to his knees in front of him, pulling his jeans down. Haruki trembled in place, reached a hand forward to push at his head but hadn’t the strength neither the willpower to follow through with it. As the younger man leaned forward and licked over the front of his underwear, Haruki’s breath caught in his throat. Not only could he feel the heat and wetness of Akihiko’s tongue but he could feel the piercing as well; hard and almost burning compared to his tongue. It felt like it was searing through the layer of fabric, just turning him on further and causing a whimper to escape him.

Akihiko looked up at him as he did it a second time – stared, as though he was seeing him and not seeing him at the same time. Haruki didn’t know what was going through his head, who he was seeing there. Part of him insisted there was no way it could actually be him.

Haruki pulled his arms to his chest, gripping at his own clothes as he squeezed his eyes shut. He wanted to watch, wanted to experience this to its fullest but he was overrun with shame. If he closed his eyes he could at least pretend it wasn’t happening, pretend it was anyone other than Akihiko there. Just so he could imagine that it would be him instead. He knew the logic made no sense, knew that he was being ridiculous. He should stop it if it was making him so uncomfortable, so conflicted.

When Akihiko’s mouth closed around him sideways through his underwear, the piercing grinding along him, Haruki couldn’t think straight. Couldn’t delude himself with his messed up ideas that only served to alleviate his guilt and not rectify the situation. It had to be Akihiko – there was no one else he knew that was like this, had these traits. Akihiko’s hands grabbed at his hips; firm and hot just like his tongue.

Gathering the little self-control he had, Haruki opened his mouth, his voice shaking.

“S-Sto…”

Akihiko didn’t listen. He just slid his head up further, let go of Haruki through his clothes and used his teeth to grab at the waistband of his underwear. Before Haruki had time to react properly – distracted by the faint grazing of Akihiko’s teeth on his skin – they were being yanked down, exposing him completely.

Haruki’s face flushed hot with shame, knowing Akihiko could see just how much he wanted him. Knowing that he would be looking at his pubic hair, admiring it in perhaps the same way he did to the rest of it.

He was proven right when Akihiko licked over the curls, the tip of his tongue twisting into the strands and barely touching his abdomen. For a moment he was worried it’d get caught in the piercing, worried it would make this stop though that’s what he’d been telling himself he wanted this whole time. Haruki needn’t have worried; Akihiko turned his head and licked up his cock again seconds later, taking the tip into his mouth.

Haruki wanted to reach out and grab Akihiko’s head; was torn between shoving him away and yanking him in closer. Either action would damn him in his own mind. He’d regret it if he made him stop, would hate himself if he encouraged it. So all Haruki could really do was nothing; not participate, not push him away. Allow Akihiko to take all the blame for what was happening.

The drummer either didn’t know his thoughts on it or didn’t care; his hands gripping Haruki’s hips tighter as he bowed his head and took him deep into his mouth. The steel of the piercing almost hurt; still hot, still hard as it slid along him.

Haruki sobbed loud enough for them both to hear it clearly, slapping a hand over his mouth as quickly as he could to stifle it though it was already too late. The sound reverberating around the staircase as if it was trying to make sure he knew exactly what noise he was making, judging him for not stopping this. Akihiko had definitely noticed, becoming more eager as he sucked hard on him and bobbed his head.

Pleasure washing through him, Haruki couldn’t take it anymore; his eyes opening as he looked down, saw that familiar short cropped blond hair where he had known it was going to be. The light from the ceiling glinted off Akihiko’s ear piercings as he moved, the flashes of light hurting Haruki’s eyes.

Now seeing him – admitting to himself what was happening – Haruki was unable to stop his voice. The moans he’d been trying to hold back spilt through his fingers as though they weren’t even there, sounding so loud to him he thought he’d go deaf. The sight of Akihiko like this was too much for him to handle, too much to take in. Haruki was overwhelmed.

When Akihiko tilted his head back and met Haruki’s eyes with his own, he was done. The piercing pressed harshly along the sensitive underside of the head of his cock, Haruki shuddering in orgasm while transfixed by those eyes that looked almost-green in the light.

It took a few seconds for Haruki to come back to himself, to realise just how risky and dangerous this had been. It was only around dinnertime; not only could anyone have walked in on it or heard it but he was sure some of his neighbours would be coming home at any moment. Right now he had even less of a clue what was going through Akihiko’s head, noticing an odd pain in his gaze that made his stomach twist up into knots.

Flustered and ashamed – of both Akihiko’s actions and himself for allowing it – Haruki pushed him away. Fumbling for his key from his jeans’ pocket, unlocking his door as quickly as he could. Only thinking of getting himself away from this mess, not able to even consider the effect it was going to have on their friendship or the band long-term.

He didn’t bother doing up his trousers or picking up his groceries from the floor, just flinging himself into his flat without looking back at Akihiko. Trying to put distance between them, to find a way to escape this situation and calm himself down without the pressure of responding to it.

Inside the doorway, he clutched at his head and sunk to his knees. Panicked over what he’d just allowed, his ears straining for any movement outside the door even though he didn’t want to deal with it. Hearing the rustling of the plastic bag, a low sigh and then something smacking against the wood, ignoring it as best he could.

“Haruki, open up! I need to talk to—”

He didn’t. Instead Haruki covered his ears with his palms, trying to block out the sound of Akihiko’s voice. Too panicked to see the consequences of his actions – or inactions – let alone be confronted with it just yet. Something about Akihiko seemed very off – everything about this situation was fucked up. Why the hell had he done something like that??

Though Haruki desperately wanted to know, he couldn’t ask. Couldn’t let Akihiko inside for fear of what would happen next. His heart was already broken, trying to heal. This had complicated things too much for him to think rationally; how was he supposed to deal with this now?

The banging abruptly stopped after a few minutes, the almost-yelling still ringing outside the door. Probably echoing through the staircase still, annoying the neighbours who were home. Inevitably something that was going to come back to bite him later, though preferable to being walked in on whilst that was happening. Easier to explain or think excuses for, though Haruki wasn’t looking forward to it in the slightest.

The door vibrated against his back slightly, a plasticy noise behind his head. A few moments later he heard a frustrated sigh and footsteps going down the stairwell. Their plans for the day more than ruined, Haruki’s heart thudding in his chest at the uncomfortable reminder from his brain that they still had band practise today. He couldn’t go in this state, would have to skip it.

Unable to face any of them after this, pretend that nothing had happened. It wasn’t like he was going to be able to play well with all if this swirling around his head – it would just piss off Uenoyama, provoke questions that he didn’t have the answer for.

Cautiously, Haruki got to his feet and slowly opened his front door. Relieved to find the stairwell empty, surprised as he saw his bag of groceries hanging on the doorknob. He brought them into his house quietly, throwing them on the kitchen counter before starting to strip off. The hairs on the back of his neck from his earlier haircut now aggravating him, making him want a shower.

The hot water would get rid of that at least, even if it didn’t wash away his confusion and shame along with it.

Haruki showered for what felt like forever; scrubbing at his hair and his skin where Akihiko had touched him. Turning the water up so high that it burned at his flesh and stung, stayed for as long as he could handle before getting out. On the edge of tears as he tried to figure this all out and forget it at the same time; unsure what to do or which would be best, a weight in his stomach when he realised he was going to have to explain this to the younger boys. Knowing Uenoyama would be furious with him, that Mafuyu would be disappointed – not really wanting to deal with either reaction but accepting that he had no choice.

When Haruki left the bathroom, he saw the light on phone flashing; signalling he’d missed some messages. He sighed as he picked it up, looking down at the pink case in trepidation as he rubbed at his head with a towel. Steeling himself for complaints, swiping it open and pausing as he saw messages from both Uenoyama and Mafuyu.

「Kaji-san told us you were feeling sick. 」 The one from Uenoyama read. 「Feel better soon but tell us next time, okay? 」

The underlying annoyance in the text was not lost on him, but Haruki had expected that. In fact, he’d anticipated worse; Uenoyama to throw one of his famous bitchfits and be high and mighty over the whole thing, chastising him for skipping while reminding him that he was the one who’d wanted to form a band together. Something harsh like that, done out of frustration when he knew Uenoyama didn’t really mean it. Unable to control his temper in these situations, earning him his reputation as a bit of an asshole and hard to get along with.

What he hadn’t expected was the first part – Akihiko had told them he was sick?

It was better than telling them the truth in a lot of ways, but it still didn’t sit right with him. Now on top of the excuse for his haircut he had to make up an illness. Haruki already sort-of knew he was a bad liar – had been told many times by Take-san that he flushed red and fumbled for words when put on the spot – so it was yet another thing he was going to have to figure out before he saw them next.

The message from Mafuyu was a simple sticker of a dog saying ‘get well soon’. Kind and not expecting any kind of response, making Haruki feel guilty all over again.

Putting his phone back down, Haruki made his way into his bedroom to get dressed. Ignoring the droplets of water splashing on his chest from where they’d gathered at the tips of his hair, though the feeling was almost alien after all this time. As he shrugged on his clothes, Haruki realised he didn’t have an appetite anymore. Right now he just felt tired, abandoning the idea of cooking as he slipped into bed instead.

He closed his eyes as he pulled the covers over himself, his still-damp hair clinging at his face and his pillow. Regretting his hasty decision to cut it off, blaming himself for this turn of events though it wasn’t really his fault. How was he supposed to know that all of this was going to happen? He hadn’t done anything but the fact that he’d allowed it to happen made him feel like the worst person in the world. The consequences were weighing down on his shoulders as if he’d been the one to initiate anything.

What was the worst part of all of this perhaps, was that there had been no message from Akihiko; no attempts to explain or justify his sudden behaviour nor ask if he was alright. Haruki wasn’t sure how to feel about that, couldn’t piece together what he’d been thinking or what it might mean. Just another thing to add to the pile of issues he’d have to deal with later.

It was with a heavy heart and anxiety in his chest that Haruki fell asleep; too exhausted to hold back from it any longer. What would be would be – there wasn’t anything he could do about it right now.


End file.
